The Real Life Consequences Resulting from Families and Society Shaming Homosexuals.

Posted By Pasadena Family Law Attorney || 22-Sep-2012

I have never been one to mince words. The reason that so many homosexuals have issues with their sexual orientation is because of the shame they experience or expect to experiencefrom their family, friends and society. Let's now discuss how this plays out in life -- I mean for the heterosexual community. Homosexual people often marry heterosexual people because they don't need to deal with their sexual orientation. Why would anyone subject themselves to abuse (both from family and society) by choice? STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINST, HATING, TORMENTING, ETC. PEOPLE WHO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND STOP VOTING FOR PEOPLE WHO DO JUST THAT. Maybe if the Republican platform on social issues were not so extreme and hateful, we would not be so polarized.

"I have become rather known for speaking out about problems in the “family law system” and the way in which family law is handled because it destroys families. Don’t think that my “family values” are limited to my efforts to transform the “family law system” and the way in which family law is handled. My “family values” also happen to include speaking out when one person’s personal beliefs happen to harm another person. I don’t care what anybody’s personal beliefs are, as long as those beliefs do not harm others.

Today is September 22, 2012. Homosexuality was formally removed from the DSM in 1987, or 25 years ago. The premise of “conversion therapy” is that homosexuality is a psychological disorder because it otherwise makes no sense. The problem is that homosexuality IS NOT a psychological disorder.

Mental health care professionals who practice “conversion therapy” are allowing their personal beliefs harm others (homosexuals). Instead of working with these individuals to accept and love themselves for who they are, such mental health care professionals in essence reinforce the shame that their parents and society cause them to experience.

Unlike most people, I stand up for the right thing and I speak my mind. If anyone cares to debate me on this issue in public, please challenge me to such a debate. If society stopped shaming homosexuals, maybe homosexuals would not want to change their sexual orientation – something that cannot be changed BECAUSE it is not a psychological disorder.

If any heterosexual believes that “conversion therapy” works, then let’s test it out on them. Do they think that “conversion therapy” will change their sexual orientation – something that is not a psychological disorder?

How does this impact heterosexual people? Because men who are married to women are known to frequent gay sex clubs and bath houses. The internet has made it far easier for such men to satisfy their sexual needs. An article on this topic that was published in New York Magazine on July 22, 2007. If heterosexual people are afraid of contracting sexually transmitted diseases from homosexuals, maybe they should not be shamming the homosexual community into hiding. If heterosexuals do not want to marry homosexuals in order to be their “beard”, while their homosexual spouse is satisfying their sexual needs outside the marriage and with members of the same sex, maybe society needs to stop shaming the homosexual community. When such couples ultimately divorce – AND THEY DO OFTEN ULTIMATELY DIVORCE – their children from the marriage have to deal with the fact that their father or mother is now gay or lesbian. Let me be clear – their father or mother was always gay or lesbian. The problem is that they were “hiding” that aspect of their life because they were ashamed of it as a result of the way in which our society treats homosexuals. Why do you think that it is called “coming out of the closet” when someone admits that they are homosexual?

The ironic thing is that many of the most staunch anti-gay advocates have been caught being “gay."How can that be, you ask? Because they are self-hating gays. What would cause them to be self-hating gays? The shame and discrimination they feel because of their families, friends and our society. How pathetic is that?

Of course, if the homosexual is Catholic, he can always become a Catholic priest. Seriously, can anyone think of any profession that is more suitable for a self-hating homosexual man? After all, Catholic priests are not allowed to marry. I know that many people in the Catholic religion don’t have a problem with this AS LONG AS THE CATHOLIC PRIEST DOES NOT PRACTICE HOMOSEXUALITY. The problem is that they DO PRACTICE THEIR HOMOSEXUALITY (behind closed doors). A gay friend of mine (who happens to be Jewish) has had sexual relations with more than one Catholic priest and he is not the only person who has done this. By the way, it is estimated that 23–58% of Roman Catholic priests are homosexuals. Unfortunately, such self-hating gay men are shaming other homosexuals and creating even more bigotry, hatred, fear, etc. with the false and evil things they preach BECAUSE THEY ARE SELF-HATING. Why do they hate themselves? Because they were shamed by their families, friends and society at large.

As a man, I will never understand what it is like to be a woman. Guess what? Heterosexuals will never understand what it is like to be homosexual. Heterosexuals should not pass judgment against homosexuals and discriminate against them, including assuming that they can somehow become heterosexual. The fact of the matter is that homosexuals are different than heterosexuals, who can't relate because they have never had to wear their shoes and will never know why they are the way they are. By the same token, men should not be regulating a woman's body, when they will never know what it is like to be a woman and will never get pregnant, whether or not by "legitimate rape."

"The choice to judge someone as good or bad, right or wrong, starts with judging ourselves." This is a quote from "Second-Hand Shock – Surviving & Overcoming Vicarious Trauma” by Ellie Izzo, PhD, LPC and Vicki Carpel Miller, BSN, MS, LMFT. It seems to me that many people in the world and in this Discussion better start judging themselves.

I published an article titled “Judicial Bias in Family Court” in the March/April 2012 edition of the San Gabriel Valley Psychological Association’s Newsletter. In that article, I stated, “No amount of bias elimination training can educate a judge to forget about their life experiences, assumptions, personal beliefs, and opinions.” It is a mistake for anyone to believe that this statement is limited to judges because it actually applies to all human beings.

In other words folks, shaming and discriminating against homosexual people does nothing other than harm both homosexuals and heterosexuals – in other words, it harms all of society. What is Mark Baer’s answer to this problem? STOP SHAMING HOMOSEXUALS.