Contested Divorce

Pasadena Contested Divorce Mediator

Mediator Serving Clients in Los Angeles County – (888) 844-9530

In a contested divorce, the parties do not agree on the divorce or on divorce-related issues arising from the dissolution of the marriage. While the decision to end a marriage or non-marital romantic relationship may not have been jointly made, that is true of all relationships. It takes two people to enter into a relationship of any nature and it only takes one to terminate it.

However, like it or not, if there are children of the relationship (regardless of their age), the family still exists after the relationship ends. The manner in which you end a relationship determines whether your family will be functional or dysfunctional from that day forward. There is no doubt that the break-up of a romantic relationship is wrought with emotion, but it is a grave mistake to make emotional decisions that you will later regret.

In a contested divorce, you and your spouse will have to come to terms about such issues as:

Because these issues are so personal, emotionally-charged, and subject to conflict, you will want a divorce lawyer who has the experience, skills, and dedication to help you reach a resolution as efficiently as possible. In his practice as a Pasadena divorce lawyer, Mark Baer offers alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation and collaborative divorce which allow you to achieve a settlement agreement outside of the courtroom, keeping you in control of the process, and doing so with less stress, less expense, and in a much saner manner.

The Cost of Divorce

The average "financial cost" of a divorce in the United States is estimated to be $20,000.00. While some divorces only cost a few hundred dollars, others can cost millions of dollars. According to an article by Nancy Chausow Shafer titled "Dispute Resolution Processes in Limited Finance Cases - Stepping up to Client-Centered Decision Making" that was published in the Fall 2013 edition of ABA Section of Family Law - Family Advocate:

"Each case has its own 'price point.' The amount of fees and other expenses that may be required to resolve a case depends on at least four variables:

  • (1) Level of conflict,
  • (2) Complexity of issues,
  • (3) Sophistication of clients
  • (4) Choice of counsel."

The "financial cost" does not take into consideration the emotional costs to the parties involved, their children and the family as a whole. You must always remember that money comes and goes, but family is forever. Using mediation can reduce the emotional cost significantly, or totally eliminate it.

Choose Mediation, Not Litigation

Mr. Baer advocates mediation or collaborative law, rather than litigation to those involved in divorce, paternity, or other family law-related matters. Litigation attorneys tend to resolve matters in an adversarial manner all the time. Cases involving family matters should not be handled in the same way that attorneys would handle a criminal case, for example. Litigation worsens the level of conflict, which tends to increase the amount of time and expense required to resolve the matter. However, mediation can decrease the conflict while resolving legal and other issues, simultaneously addressing emotions and feelings.

Using litigation in family law is like involving ground troops, as a first resort, when countries have international issues; similarly, using judges and arbitrators would be like choosing the nuclear option. When the U.S. is having a dispute with another country, it initially attempts to resolve the issue through diplomatic efforts. If diplomacy doesn't work, it might try economic sanctions of varying levels. If that doesn't work, it may use drones to drop bombs. If that doesn't work, it may involve ground troops. The final option, if absolutely necessary, would be to drop a nuclear bomb, something it has not done since 1945. But if our country is not getting along with Iran, Russia, or any other country, we don't start resolving the conflict with ground troops or nuclear weapons; we try diplomacy in an effort to resolve it.

Conflict Resolution Prevents Damage

As with international disputes, family law matters should start with conflict resolution through diplomatic efforts by way of mediation. The best mediators are those who are well versed in evaluative, facilitative and transformative mediation and can seamlessly move from one approach to the next as the need arises. Mr. Baer explains the different types of mediation, available, in his well-received article for the Huffington Post entitled "How To Select The Best Mediator Is a Must Read for Everyone."

What makes a really exceptional mediator is the ability to capture the essence of a conflict and move people to a place of empathy and compassion, which is the role of facilitative mediators. Litigators are warriors so these skills are inconsistent with their role. In fact, it is unlikely that they even have such skills.

Furthermore, children, step-children, grandchildren, and others frequently suffer the collateral damage of their parents' decision to handle their differences in an adversarial manner. These individuals, and potentially their offspring, will carry forth the fall-out from the adversarial way their parents' relationship ends. However, if mediation or collaborative law is used right from the start, this destruction can be averted.

Unfortunately, people inappropriately talk themselves out of constructive ways of resolving their differences all the time because they wrongfully believe that litigation is the only or best way of handling such things. In 90% of cases in the United States where parents have decided not to parent together, they are able to agree on a parenting plan and timeshare agreement. According to Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 80-85% of family law matters can be resolved without litigation. Furthermore, only 2-3% all cases go to trial. In other words, the vast majority of cases resolve one way or another at some point and without the need for judicial action. Are you certain that your case should be litigated just because 15-20 percent of cases (1 in 5-6 cases) may ultimately be litigated? Since you cannot unring the bell, are you certain that you want to create damage that cannot be undone?

Get a Trustworthy Mediator For Your Case

Mr. Baer is a skilled as a family law mediator, and has the honors and awards to support it. He understands that there is no single solution to resolve every family law situation because each comes with its own unique set of challenges and demands. He is recognized for his ability to capture the essence of a conflict and his aim to help people resolve it, right from the start. You can rely on him to utilize his vast array of information and knowledge well beyond the law itself, to assist you in accomplishing your desired result. He prides himself on the personalized service he provides that is both child-centered and psychologically-minded.

If you are involved in a contested divorce in the greater Los Angeles area, it is strongly urged that you contact Pasadena divorce mediator Mark Baer to discuss your case. He has successfully helped a great many individuals and couples navigate their way through all types of divorce, divorce-related issues, and other family legal problems. Because of his extensive experience and his dedication to finding practical and effective solutions for his clients, he has much to offer anyone seeking answers, strategies, and actions which will resolve these types of issues.

Divorce is never an easy process for any of the parties involved or their children. A contested divorce does not have to become a legal battlefield, incurring further resentment, hostilities, and damage to the lives of spouses and their children. The selection of an attorney is the most significant factor in determining how a case will proceed. In addition to competency, the mediator's personality and overall philosophy with regard to family law are of great importance.

People need to consult with "competent and caring" family law mediators. Assertiveness should be part of their competency. However, do not seek out lawyers that describe themselves as "sharks," "pit bulls" or "aggressive." Setting that tone typically leads to sub-optimal results, can destroy families, and costs a great deal of money in the process.

The mediator you choose to handle your divorce may be one of the most important decisions you make about this life-changing process. By consulting with Mr. Baer, you will be getting the benefit of his extensive experience, legal abilities, and uncompromising dedication to assisting his clients in reaching agreements that accomplish their desired results without burning bridges.

Contact the Pasadena divorce mediator at the firm if you are involved in a contested divorce in Pasadena, California, or the surrounding region.

Meet Mark B. Baer

The Professional You Need to Help Resolve Your Family and Interpersonal Conflicts

  • “He guided me thru this difficult and confusing time in my life, and let me set things at my own pace.” - Anita
  • “Mark has a natural ability to understand each person's desires and the emotions that are driving those desires, and then help to mediate to a common ground.” - LA Reviewer
  • “I will be reaching out to Mark in the future for guidance before heading down the road of a contentious situation and to build my own skills to avoid disputes by using different skills.” - Marnye Langer
  • “He was always open to questions and partnered with me in making good decisions that enabled us to come to a clean and satisfactory resolution.” - Pam B.
  • “Mark is an exceptional attorney for family law. He understands the process so that it minimizes the discord that can last for years.” - Kathy R.

    The Difference with our services

    Why you should trust mark b. Baer
    • Certified to Administer EQI Assessments
    • Nationally Recognized Expert on Bias and the Law
    • Compassionate and Client-Focused Care